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Retire the Modern Self

by Mons La Hire

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  • Compact Disc (CD) + Digital Album

    Comes in a Digipak case with collage artwork and photography by Daniel Watkins. Includes a bifold insert with lyrics.

    Locally sourced! Manufactured by Atomic Disc in Salem, Oregon.

    Includes unlimited streaming of Retire the Modern Self via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 3 days
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD or more 

     

  • Streaming + Download

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    Purchasable with gift card

      $10 USD  or more

     

1.
Listen I don’t want to make you nervous I just can’t sleep Brush the sleep from your eyes And let’s go outside Where the sky magnifies you and me On an island of life in the void Take my hand and just Stand here tethered Breathe in and remember  Despite everything we’re alright, we’re alright I had hoped to see the stars tonight  Clouds rushing in from across the Pacific Keeping me grounded I don’t know where to begin Where to begin Tell me Do you ever get that empty gnawing feeling Like you’ve misplaced your keys Your wallet or backpack But there’s nowhere you need to be Subconscious perception Or baseless malaise  I’ll just stand here tethered Breath in and remember Despite everything I’m alright Am I alright? I had hoped to see the stars tonight Clouds rushing in from across the Pacific Keeping me grounded I don’t know where to begin Where to begin I had hoped to see the stars tonight  Clouds rushing in from across the Pacific Keeping us grounded I don’t know where to begin Where to begin
2.
Open Window 03:56
She talks in her sleep Cut her teeth on endless dreams A broken bookshelf pouring ink Into a stream She never stays in one place Claustrophobic empty space Spinning cogs in blank machines Tapes recorded and erased Still the night is young The winter air, it burns inside your lungs She leaves her window open Footsteps echo on the drive While the restless world is sleeping She feels alive, she feels alive She doesn’t have a destination She doesn’t need a GPS Her feet glide upon the pavement She never needs to stop and rest Still the night is young The winter air, it burns inside your lungs She leaves her window open Footsteps echo on the drive While the restless world is sleeping She feels alive, she feels alive
3.
Sweating in the kitchen, 5 p.m. Waiting for the sea breeze To kick in The silence broken by the clamor of the train yard And the flies Who won't leave me alone The garden's growing, well, the weeds at least Morning glory winding round and choking the stalks And I can't focus long enough To read my magazine At least the collard greens are growing all right I made a resolution I'm gonna watch more TV Shadows stretching across the yard Somewhere dogs are barking I hope they're okay Like a sign seen in hindsight on a dodgy forest rode Seems everything is broken and nothing is real I made a resolution I'm going to leave room to breathe Don't have a real solution Wish I'd stop clenching my teeth Standing on the front porch, glass in hand Heavy light pollution from the apartments across the tracks But I don't mind I can still see a couple constellations And the bright face of a wandering star
4.
On my second cup of coffee Well worn companion in my hand Dig in my heels, unearth my nerve Here we go again Where have I seen you before? Has it been days or months or years? I don’t know but I know you didn’t come here for nothing Is it calloused of me I thought you were the last one I wasn’t prepared for this Will this day never end I thought you were the last one Telephone rings and I’m in a sweat How is it your choice reflects on me? I don’t know but I know I didn’t come here for nothing Hello, I thought you should know I thought you were the last one I wasn’t prepared for this Will this day never end I thought you were the last one I thought I was ready My feet took me to your door Imagine my surprise when I found you weren’t alone anymore My head is spinning but I can’t look away I don’t know what to say
5.
Bernadette 04:50
Bernadette, off in the woods Bored of the city you know Blackberry brambles that tug at your corduroy Compelling you to take it slow Navigate labyrinthine Desire paths in the undergrowth Here and there plastic bags, tattered shoes and shattered glass Reminding you you’re not the first Tell me what you’re thinking ‘bout Bernadette How you gonna do yourself right? In the middle of the night Take a walk past the Amtrak station Think it’s time for a long vacation Can’t afford a ticket Justify the carbon footprint Ride a bicycle to Berlin When you can’t realize International dreams It’s back to the woods again Why’s it look so easy in the movies? Just want to make a getaway You say your friends have got it worse than you And you shouldn’t complain Well that doesn’t mean that you’re alright So tell me what you’re thinking ‘bout Bernadette How you gonna do yourself right? In the middle of the night Take a walk past the Greyhound station Think it’s time for a long vacation
6.
Tell me once again How you think this all will end In a flash, in a flash Collapse and start again How can you be sure You’re the dreamer not the dream? Pinch myself on the arm But it doesn’t mean a thing Let’s escape to Pine needles and blackberries MTV and ice cream Shouting in the wind We’ll lean over the railing and we’ll Spit into the creek Dead leaves getting stuck in the wheels of our bikes We can take the shortcut Behind the pizza pipeline Pool our quarters ‘cause a medium is $7.99 You always get nervous When we ask about your weekend It’s alright, we don’t mind You know we like you anyway Let’s escape to Pine needles and blackberries MTV and ice cream Shouting in the wind We’ll lean over the railing and we’ll Spit into the creek Dead leaves getting stuck in the wheels of our bikes
7.
You could write a book about the way that you feel Filling up the pages but that don't make it real While the world wobbles by on its axis Stars don't align and it's tragic And it's just another day dodging the consequence Of keeping up appearances and straddling the fence While the world wobbles by on its axis The stars don't align and it's tragic Cause the worst case scenario is another black swan You spent so long with your head in the clouds I hope you're well aware Every lucky streak runs dry You can cover up your ears and block out the sound Of your all but guaranteed comedown In the best case scenario It's another year gone You turn and face the setting sun And you can try and find a moral A reason to believe There's a purpose behind your suffering Anything to soften the sting
8.
And I’m trying To find the needle on the thread And I’m trying To find a path through my tangled head But I don’t need your second sight Not throwing out my birthright Just want to set the record straight How long’s it gonna take? Welcome to the Church of Divine Intervention Not looking for a miracle just a sign that you’re paying attention Far from me to make demands upon your time But I got a feeling somebody cut the line And you keep telling me To put my trust in the fire And you keep telling me I’ve put my trust in a liar And I don’t need your magic spells I’m not afraid of heaven or hell Just want to set the record straight How long’s it gonna take? Welcome to the Church of Divine Intervention Not looking for a miracle just a sign that you’re paying attention Far from me to make demands upon your time But I got a feeling somebody cut the line Welcome to the Church of Divine Intervention Not looking for a miracle just a sign that you’re paying attention Far from me to make demands upon your time But I got a feeling somebody cut the line
9.
I ride along A wooded walk Pueblo Canyon rim My tires skid On the loose soil Think of the drop The floor so far below So far below She rides ahead Moving fast I’m just keeping up The passing cars The taillights The setting sun The sun that hides behind The matchstick trees Remind me how Everything can go up in smoke And everything And everyone That you hold close Can slip away And you can’t know Till the fire starts And you fall apart
10.
Shoulder season dragging on too long Stay up too late Fall asleep on the loveseat Netflix asks if I'm still here Seems like you've been gone so long And it's not like I feel lost without you But damn, I feel so drained today I can get things done I can be productive I can be alone Still, i wish that you were here Gravel road and potholes Getting mud on my new shoes Got a head full of music and inside jokes Got a million things to share with you i can get things done i can be productive i can be alone still i wish that you were here I don't know if I'm all right I never really go outside Maybe if I close my eyes and count to ten I'll have you back again I don't know if I'm all right I never really go outside Maybe if I close my eyes and count to ten I'll have you back again i'll pretend this is fine until it is i'll pretend this is fine until it is i'll pretend this is fine until it is i'll pretend this is fine until it is

credits

released June 11, 2022

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Mons La Hire Providence, Rhode Island

indie rock by daniel and suzanne watkins

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